Heart to Heart, Soul to Seoul

a picture of a reader at the Starfield Library in Seoul, South korea

My trip to Starfield Library in Seoul South Korea.

This summer I randomly booked a flight to Seoul, South Korea. Such a spontaneous trip come with a bare bones itinerary, but there was one can’t-miss stop I planned on visiting: Starfield Library. This wasn’t a random excursion I happened across. No, this was a years in the making bucket list item. And if you’re interested in reading about the other bookish stops on my trip to South Korea, I got your covered. Ok, back to the main event: Starfield!

An Interest in Pinterest

I was a sophomore at Ohio State when Pinterest took off. I had just landed a job at the RPAC, the largest campus recreational center in the country. It paid for beer, Canes four finger boxes with extra sauce, and my apartment’s utilities. It was brutal to balance working 25-30 hours a week with my engineering program, but I managed by decompressing at work. Half of my shifts were spent at a remote entrance where I’d check BuckIDs and allow students entry into the facility. This portion of my shift was often the only reprieve I’d have during the day. Naturally I spent it on Pinterest.

Dissociation was not yet in my dictionary, but that’s exactly what I practiced. I’d find myself scrolling through photos from other people’s travels for hours. It was more educational than some of my engineering classes. I met crystal-clear waters of Mykonos, pastel townhouses in Bo-Kaap, Cape Town, cat cafes in Tokyo. I was dirt poor and burdened with a degree I had zero desire to complete. But at least I could escape through the photography others so graciously pinned.

Even a decade later, I speak highly of my time at the RPAC. It’s my college sweetheart. This job set me on a path I had never anticipated for myself, teaching me skills I use to this day. It introduced the best manager I will ever have in my career (if any Buckeyes are reading this -acquaint yourself with Rob Jech), and it gifted me my other half.

Soul Mates turned Seoul Mates

Nicole and I had little in common when we started working together. We shared a deep wanderlust and a vision of more in all forms. More excitement, more adventure, more food and men and dancing than Columbus could offer. Between shifts, we found ourselves planning hypothetical trips to all the locations we shared on our Pinterest boards. An ambiguous promise hung in the balance: one day, wed visit every last destination together. It was the beginning of a beautiful, treasured friendship that I hope continues for 15 more years. Better yet, 15 more after that to be safe! Together we had a spa day at the Blue Lagoon in Iceland, drank in Temple Bar on St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin, hiked the ruins of Machu Picchu, and sported matching dirndls in Munich for Oktoberfest. Each of these itineraries started as idea boards on… You guessed it! Pinterest.

We’ve since graduated (multiple times over actually – Nicole just finished PA school this December and is about to start a position at the Cleveland Clinic), but our process remains. Pinterest is still the springboard for all our trip planning. Whether we are going somewhere in the area for a long weekend or planning another trip abroad, Pinterest is our genesis.

Putting the Lust in Wanderlust

It should come as no surprise that Pinterest is how I discovered the Starfield Library in Seoul, South Korea. I was living in Seattle at the time when I came across a pin for a new library. It was the most magnificent sight I have ever seen. The internet has yet to adopt the clear girl aesthetic, so the crisp design was fresh and exciting. Books towed three stories high. Magazines decorated display after display. There was comfortable seating you could sink into, a cafe for a caffeinated recharge. In essence it met every need on my personal version of Maslov’s hierarchy.

The only problem was that I couldn’t see a path forward to South Korea. Although I was living in Seattle, I was about to start flying to Chicago twice a month for my Master’s program on top of weekly site visits to my customer in St. Louis. It was the worst time to travel anywhere internationally – Starfield Library became the itch I couldn’t scratch. Years passed, I moved back east, the pandemic hit, and still I yearned to visit Starfield Library. Then, the depression hit.

Triggered by Jungkook?

If my TikTok brought you to this blog, you know I do not shy away from discussing my mental health. I’ve battled depression and manic tendencies since before I had the vocabulary for them, but my episode this summer was different. It came out of nowhere, and I had no explanation for it.

That’s a half lie: I know exactly when it hit at least. I stayed up late on a Thursday night to watch the midnight premier of Jungkook’s Seven music video, and halfway through it, I felt my brain go gray. There’s the scene in Pleasantville when the tv changes from color to grayscale, and I physically felt that in my brain. I immediately started sobbing. Don’t worry. I managed to pause the music video and continued it 45 minutes later after I calmed down. Even in a depressive episode, Jungkook gets my undivided attention. Those tears run down a different set of cheeks, ya feel?

That night began a month-long battle with insomnia, random crying outbursts, lack of appetite, and reclusion. Most times there is a trigger for my depression. Some stressful event will set me off, and it passes once I resolve the very visible challenge. This time such a trigger didn’t exist. Although, looking back, one could make the argument that Jungkook’s impending military enlistment weighed in the back of my mind while watching his music video… Sike. My depression will never be *that* bad.

De-funking my Funk

My depression was flying blind. I couldn’t vocalize what was plaguing me, so my community had no clue how to help. Sure, it was my burden alone, but my community could have support me. I just never felt comfortable leaning on them. Until I could wrap my head around what was causing this, I bottled everything inside. So began a deeply introspective period of relearning who I am as an individual, what I prioritize and value, and what I want out of this life.

While I worked on my personal battles, I found subtle reprieve in travel planning. I hadn’t been abroad since pre-Covid, and it was about time I planned a trip. The only problem is I had no one to go with last minute. So I went alone. I vividly recall moving around flights so that I could visit friends in LA then fly straight to Seoul. Clicking purchase was terrifying. Nearly a decade of experience traveling abroad didn’t prepare me for the nerves of doing it all alone. Sure, there were days I spent alone while waiting for friends to join me in Barcelona. Someone caught an early flight from Prague to make it to a wedding. Never had I chosen to spend two weeks completely alone in another country.

Once I hit purchase and the itinerary appeared in my Delta SkyMiles account, the fog cleared. Gradually, I regained consciousness of what makes me content. Of note – I never strive for happiness. As an adult, I’ve learned my manic tendencies compound when I move too quickly between the highest highs and lowest lows. Even keeled contentment is my goal.

Time for some Seoul Searching

I spent 8 weeks of the summer slugging along, trying to pull myself from a darkness that I didn’t knew existed. Who knew all it took to see the light was a little airline retail therapy.

But now, I had less than a month until I left for Seoul. Worse yet, I was visiting friends in St. Louis for a Beyonce concert and Los Angeles for a beach tennis event as part of the massive end of summer blowout. Do you know how hard it is to pack for the Renaissance tour, a beach tennis tournament in Venice, and two weeks in Asia? It’s a first world problem, absolutely, but after a month-long battle with depression, it was still a problem.

Flash forward, and I finally touchdown in Seoul – after an exhausting 12-hour flight, customs, immigration, and hour train ride, that is. Because I spent the first 5 years of my career living on the road, I should note I landed in Seoul with only a vague idea of where I would be staying. To confirm: I did not have a hotel booked (consultants with lifetime Marriott Titanium Elite status will understand). By the time I checked into my recently-booked hotel, it was 9 PM, I had been awake for well-over 24 hours. All I wanted was tteokbokki from the night market nearby, a hot shower, and endless sleep. Starfield Library could wait one more day…. But not a day longer!

The Anticipation is Killing Me

The next morning, I was up and moving by 7 AM, a feat unheard-of for me. Jetlag was not the culprit: this was pure excitement and adrenaline. I started the morning with kimchi over scrambled eggs and an iced Americano. Yes, I’ve watched too many Korean dramas. Sue me. But the biggest issue here is that Seoul is a night city. The earliest commuters don’t head into work until 9 AM, and businesses typically don’t open until 10-11 AM at the earliest. So I had hours to kill before I could visit anywhere of interest.

And how does a 30-something single woman with no kids spend her time and money in a foreign country with zero plans? She finds a sick nail artist on TikTok, my true love Unistella, and makes an appointment in her DMs. I know this is supposed to be about my time in Korea at the Starfield Library, but when one has the opportunity to ger her nails done by BlackPink’s Jisoo’s personal nail artist, you don’t miss the chance to gloat. To date, they’re the best manicure and sickest nail art I’ve ever gotten.

two hands with rings and manicured fingernails

A pitstop at the nail salon was strategic. It is located in Gangnam, a short distance from COEX Mall, which is where the main prize is. Because business in Seoul recently skyrocketed, new development includes shared, convertible spaces, some which are underground. COEX Mall is no different. It serves as a shopping center, food court, major subway stop, and multi-use convention center below a massive office space. While I was visiting, Seoul hosted Frieze at COEX, the country’s premier art festival celebrating Asian artists.

You Have Arrived at your Final Destination

It took less than 20 minutes to commute from Unistella to COEX Mall. The moment I existed the subway platform, I started hyperventilating. I was I was joking, but this whole experience was years in the making, and I finally got to accomplish something deeply personal. The tears were short-lived, as I soon found myself laughing hysterically, because I couldn’t find the damn library. You would think that the premier, 3-story attraction would be relatively easy to locate in an underground mall, but nope. It took me nearly half an hour to find, and my phone was down to 10% battery. It would be my luck that I finally make it to South Korea via manic episode to see a bucket list sight only to arrive with a dead phone. Thankfully, this was not the case.

magazines and books on display at the starfield library in Seoul

I wish there was a specific word that described the feeling of accomplishing a long sought after goal. It’s like processing the entire grief cycle in a nanosecond:

  1. Denial that I actually planned a trip halfway across the world to see a library and followed through on making it happen.
  2. Guilt that I was experiencing this personal goal alone and not with people I know would equally enjoy it.
  3. Bargaining for more time, because I knew there would never be enough of it.
  4. Depression, my companion, that I’ll eventually have to leave.
  5. Acceptance that I’ve made it, I have plenty to celebrate later, but for now, I will relish being in the company of every book, magazine, and journal in this building.

And relish the Starfield Library I did! That afternoon, I took no fewer than 500 pictures and more videos than one person should capture in a single location. Years ago, I shamelessly adopted the selfie stick, who I affectionately refer to as Le Selfe`. I’ve never looked back. You best believe she was putting in overtime. I rode the escalator up and down 6 times, I read GQ and Vogue Korea – and by read, I mean struggle through the Hangul characters and their pronunciation but have zero clue what they mean (one day!). I intentionally sat indifferent spots with multiple perspectives to properly people watch.

A Lesson in Respect

What fascinated me most about Starfield Library was the reverence Koreans showed it. South Korea is already a deeply respectful culture, but the manner of care they treated this space set a new standard. Most people see pictures of Starfield Library and assume that it’s a bookstore, but it’s truly a fully functioning library. There is a plethora of books available for check out. Multiple librarians patrol the floor, offering assistance to locals and tourists alike. Starfield offers author signings, children’s programs, and book clubs. There are rooms available to rent for business, study, or personal events. Through all the hustle and bustle, an eerie calm descends. People converse and move about, but it’s with respect toward those working or reading nearby. Witnessing this reverence in person restored some faith in us humans whose minds never rest and continually thirst for knowledge without imposing on others.

Tourists might assume they’re visiting a unique, upbeat bookstore, but upon arrival, reality is a stark contrast. For being in the dead middle of the mall, a social Mecca in most cultures, the same respect we show libraries is shown at Starfield. Do not let the food court or movie theater fool you. Koreans are there to use the Starfield Library as exactly that: a library. If you do have the privilege to visit, please demonstrate the same level of honor and respect Koreans show it. Nobody will stop you from taking pictures or fully enjoying the space but know that there is a proper way of doing so.

The Comedown

After exiting Starfield Library, I found myself crying in a bowl of chogyetang, essentially chilled chicken noodle soup. There’s floating pieces of ice in the broth – exactly what I needed to regulate my nervous system. I knew it would be an overwhelming experience, but I had no idea the physical toll it would take on my body. Through the language barrier, the woman serving me understood I experienced something deeply personal that day. She brought me out a bowl of dumplings at no charge and rubbed my back. I could only profusely bow and stumble through multiple gamsahamnida’s. But she knew. Women always know. It’s even hard work accomplishing our fun goals.

a bowl of chilled chicken soup and dumplings and kimchi at a restaurant near Starfield Library in Seoul

Should you find yourself in Seoul, I cannot recommend Starfield Library enough. The experience might not be as deeply personal as it was for me. I argue the architecture, energy, and ambiance are more than worth the visit. At the time of my visit, the main branch was in COEX Mall in Gangnam. Since then, Starfield Library has opened a second location in Suwon, about 25 minutes southwest of Seoul by public transportation. As if I didn’t need another reason to visit my favorite city on Earth, you better believe the newest Starfield Library is back on the bucket list. Who’s joining for round two?

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